Spring’s shift leaves us all in blaze of a daze

Funny Thing Is


Ever noticed how in the spring the entire world seems to shift on its axis?

Duh, I mean I know it really does shift on its axis, but I’m talking about your world.

For the past few months, we’ve been cold, colorless and bored. The weather gave new meaning to the words — chill out.

The freezes we had were like turning off the color knob on the TV because the grass turned brown, the flowers died and the normally bright blue skies with the glowing yellow ball ended up being a depressing gray. We were stuck in the house with nothing to do but scour through about 4,000 channels on the TV or access the total combined knowledge of the universe through the world wide web.

How did they do it about 50 years ago when there were three channels and no computers?

Oh, they talked, joked and laughed with other humans, but this is much better right?

So, for the past few months, everything has been the same. Then, boom — spring arrives. It’s like God gave everyone in heaven a crayon and said go color something.

We switch from coats to Coppertone. We turn off the TVs and turn on the jet skis, RVs and margarita blenders.

Also, sports fans who only like football and baseball have been in depression and withdrawal for almost two months now. But, baseball season is starting and all is right with the world again.

You switch from drinking Jack Daniels for depression to Bud Light to watch the games. And, don’t forget, you gotta get that beach body back in shape now.

Oh and look at the highways. Snowbirds migrating north while spring breakers are migrating south. Funny thing is … the snowbirds going north are all over 50 years old and it looks like you left the VCR on slow mo. And, if you look at the spring breakers heading south, it looks like everyone’s under 25 years old and the VCR is stuck in fast forward.

Man they’re moving.

This time of year reminds me of that scene from “Ten Commandments’’ where one day you’re looking across the barren desert and then the next day about a million people are all out there going somewhere.

Winter is over, so turn off the heater, lose the parka and get out there. The world has shifted and you need to spring ahead!