Bowling might just be the perfect sport after all


I finally found a sport that is right up my alley — bowling.

Yes, my whole life I’ve been into athletics. I do love to play sports. I’ve enjoyed playing baseball, football, golf, tennis and pingpong.

But, until now, I never really found a sport that I loved.

Why bowling and not golf?

Well, I’ve never lost a ball in bowling. In fact, you throw it down an alley and they keep sending it back.

You throw anything else down an alley and you’ll never see it again. And, you wouldn’t want to go find it.

On the golf course, you have to be dead silent when someone is swinging. In bowling, it’s so loud you can hear a pin drop.


Well, what did you think all that noise was?

In NASCAR, when you hear the crash, it’s very upsetting. In bowling, after a crash, everyone screams for joy.

Well, what about baseball? In baseball, if you strike out they send you to the bench. In bowling, if you strike out, they send you to the Hall of Fame.

And how many sports are held in an environmentally controlled atmosphere with a full bar in sight and they encourage you to drink while playing the sport?

Think about it.

While you’re bowling, if you’re not drinking enough alcohol, they send a server to you. You don’t even have to go stand in line at the bar!

Now, how many sports do they actually deliver the drinks to you while you’re playing?

OK, golf maybe. But, let me ask you this. How many sports do they encourage you to drink and consume a cheeseburger or pizza while you play?

And, how many sports do you see the boys playing with the girls and they don’t mind striking out with each other? Yeah, they never want to split and they have plenty of time to spare!

Man, if I could have dreamt up the perfect sport this would be it. So, if you can spare the time, split from your boredom, avoid the gutter of despair and roll on down to your local lanes, you just might find a turkey with your name on it.