Thrill of grilling part of Florida’s lore


Barbecuing can be a grilling experience.

Yes, it’s summertime, which means folks all over the country will wheel out their rusty barbecue grills.

They also will try to remember where they stored their grilling utensils and don those fancy aprons with catchy sayings like “Grills are the only thing I can still turn on these days,” or “Kiss the cook but don’t touch the buns.”

I have two favorites that my kids will tell you were written just for me, “Burnt to Perfection” and the most accurate is “Rare = 1 Beer, Medium = 2 Beers, Well Done = 3 Beers.

So to usher in the season at my house, we renewed what has become an every-five-year tradition known as shopping for a new grill.

Yes, believe it or not, there are a couple of things I cannot do very well. One is underwater bungee jumping, two is nuclear propulsion, but the most frustrating is I can’t seem to go five full years without breaking those little sparking buttons that fire up the grill.

When I break those sparking buttons, the way I light the grill is to first turn on the gas, open the valves, pull out a pack of matches, stand about 4 feet back and in one motion strike the match while throwing it toward the open grill.

Since I have pretty good aim, the result is usually a big flash of fire as the match hits its target.

After my last successful grill startup, we decided to go buy a new grill. Don’t worry, the doc says my eyebrows will probably grow back within a year.

So, now we have the new grill and what do we do first? Invite all my drinking carnivore buddies and their families over for a party.

Now, I love entertaining but take some advice from me. The last thing you want to do is have a bunch of assistant cooks slamming Coronas and Bud Light and telling you how to cook.

Needless to say, just running back and forth to the fridge for the next round and listening to their culinary expertise caused me to partially overcook the expensive steaks we were serving.

But hey, I’ve now got more door stops than I have doors and if I stack them I don’t need jack stands when changing a tire.

My advice to you is save some money by hanging the aprons up and head to your favorite steak house where the dinner is a lot cheaper than the doctor bills because barbecuing can be a grilling experience.