Personal force field would solve social distancing issue


This new lifestyle they call “social distancing” isn’t really new at all.

In the 1960s there was a show called “Star Trek” where they used force fields to keep unwanted ships away. I could have used a force field in church last year when I was at a service and there were thousands of people there, but the one guy who was sick and had a nonstop cough decided to sit, guess where? 

Yep, right behind me. I could have used a force field then.

Ever wish you had a force field around you in the grocery store? Not just for the coughers or sneezers but for so many whose internal collision avoidance senses aren’t working and they walk right at you despite the extra-wide aisles. 

Same thing at the theme parks. How many times are you walking so far to the right of the walkways and here comes someone who decides to walk diagonal and is headed straight for you? You almost have to dive out of the way.

Sometimes I want to say “Hey Buddy, in America we walk on the right side of the road.” 

If I just had a belt clip force field, I’d flip that baby on and watch him bounce away. 

There’s 30,535,560 square feet of land at the Magic Kingdom, but this guy has got to have my one foot square of land at that exact moment. Force field on then, watch the fun. Now that’s social distancing.

What about when you’re in a theater watching the most dramatic part of the movie and the people behind you decide to talk about wallpaper? Force field on and let’s add a silencer. Social distancing.

And what about when you go to the beach. There’s hundreds of miles of empty sand. So, how come someone always has to park in so close and then light up and blow smoke your way, or even worse turn on a boombox with dirty rap playing. 

Time for some more force field social distancing. Of course, since they haven’t invented the force field yet, you could always fake a sneeze and watch them run.

So, if you’re tired of people invading your personal space, you’re probably liking this social distancing, and hopefully someday soon somebody will invent a personal force field app. Then we can truly say “May the force be with you!”