Helpful hints make resolutions easier to reach during 2018

Funny thing is...


A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. That’s a quote and usually it is true.

I used to make resolutions every year, and I used to track my progress.

Lose 10 pounds by Valentine’s Day, call a friend I haven’t talked to in at least a decade, or read more. As the next New Year’s Eve approached, I would look back to see how I did.

The problem is — since I passed 60 years old — I can’t remember what my resolutions were 12 months ago. So, this year as a public service, I’ve decided my only New Year’s resolution would be to help you with your resolutions.

My first piece of advice to ensure total success in this endeavor is to recommend you make a resolution to break all your New Year’s resolutions. This guarantees success no matter what you do.

My second piece of advice is don’t resolve to lose weight, but rather to look slimmer in your circle of friends by March 1. To make sure this happens, go out and buy each of those friends the nicest box of rich, dark chocolate truffles you can find for Valentine’s Day.

Fourteen days later on March 1, take a picture with them. You’ll be the skinny one with the devilish grin.

Third, resolve to read more. No, don’t go out and buy “War and Peace.” Instead, turn your TV’s closed caption button on. Resolution achieved, and you never had to leave your lounge chair. My fourth recommendation is don’t resolve to learn more about the explosion of technology around you. Instead, offer to babysit those elementary school grandkids a little bit more. Buy them tablets for Christmas and then watch how they do it.

Oh, you can go to a tech blog, authored by tech geeks and written at the level to teach other geeks. No. At our age, it’s best to keep things simple.

Let the grandkids teach you. You’ll look like “Grandparents of the Year” while passing your own kids in techno savvy since they don’t think they can learn anything from elementary school kids. Our decades of experience have taught us better.

So, my last piece of advice is if you have to make a resolution for 2018 make it something that you can definitely achieve.

Resolve to give up underwater bungee jumping.

That’s a guaranteed success.

With all those resolutions solved, you undoubtedly can have a Happy New Year!