Holiday routine doesn’t fit well with reality


I’m having a fit with fitness. I mean the term fitness.

What is it actually saying about us?

Fit into what? Fit in our clothes? Fit in our cars? Fit in the airline seat?

As we close out another holiday season and start with the ritual of making New Year’s resolutions, many of us turn our attention to shedding the pounds we have spent the last month and a half accumulating.

Yes, since Thanksgiving, it’s been a non-stop eating and drinking fest.

Instead of looking like Jack LaLanne — not Richard Simmons — we instead look like one of those Weebles that when you push it over, it bounces back up.

Our waistlines look more like waste lines. Yes, it’s time to pay for all your merriment. Pay being the operative word.

You can’t do it on your own. So, maybe a gym membership is a good idea.

Or, you can pay for SlimFast or Weightwatchers.

Just the amount of cash you’re removing from your wallets will slim you down by a couple of inches. That’s a good start, right?

So, why are we working so hard to get fit?

When I find my clothes are tight, I just buy bigger clothes. If I can’t get into my car, I just buy a bigger car. If I can’t get into my airline seat, I just … well, I just don’t fly.

So, how can I fit fitness into my life because it’s giving me fits?

First, I’m trying resistance training by resisting to give up pizza, burgers and beer.

Second, I’ve decided the only six pack I’ll have will not be in my waist but in my fridge and it will say Bud Light on the side.

Third, the only bars I’ll be pressing will be the ones that overcharge for drinks.

In other words, I’m not going to spend hours at the gym, or hundreds of dollars on big-name diet programs.

All I need to look good to my friends is a $14.99 bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila!

Now, that’s a plan that fits into my lifestyle.