Let’s hope for a quick toast to end of all things corona


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Up until recently, the only time I dealt with Corona was with a lime and Jimmy Buffett music playing in the background.

 The last time I sang at my usual Friday night spot, they told me coming in the door they had four cases of Corona in the bar.

 As I was racing out the door, they screamed that two cases were Light and two cases were Extra.

 Oh.

 That night, they ran out of Corona. When they announced there was no Corona in the bar, people actually were upset.

 Then, the stock market crashed. When it comes roaring back, where shall I invest all the cash I saved from not going to restaurants, bars and baseball games?

 Well, with all the workaholics stuck in their homes, with all the badly behaved school children now being home schooled by the parents that never taught them discipline before, and with all the married couples getting to know each other again, I am torn between investing in either alcohol or horsewhips.

 So, since I spent so much time talking to all my new family members this past month, I decided to ask all of them what they thought I should do when this is all over.

 New family members you ask? 

Yeah, like the fridge that told me to just chill out. The dryer told me to recycle my old life, while the iron reminded me that I  always was pressed for time. So, the oven suggested I cook up a new scheme which the pool thought would make a real splash when I return to normal.

 Well, I was a little leery about making a life plan on the suggestions of inanimate objects until the vacuum told me to suck it up while the coffee maker said to let ideas percolate for a while.

 But when the couch told all of them to sit on it and I heard the TV turn on them, I started to feel the tension in the house. 

Just before all-out war started, I rolled over and woke up. Another nightmare ended. Hope this one does, too.

 So, grab a Corona and a lime and let’s toast a return to normal.