Language continues to keep us smiling, laughing at its twisted best


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Why don’t we say what we mean and mean what we say?

For instance, what we in America call football rarely uses the foot and what we call soccer doesn’t have anything to do with socking anything because they can’t use their hands.

You know that guy Webster that wrote the dictionary? I’m convinced he was either a sadistic alcoholic or sniffed lines of stuff that looks like it fell off a powdered donut before he sat down to give us the gigantic book of household words.

You know. Stuff like naming the place we park a driveway while calling the place we drive a parkway.

Really, Mr. W?

We built an entire language that doesn’t make sense off of one book obviously written by someone with issues.

For example, how come fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Think about this next one. If you drive something by car it’s called a shipment, but if it comes by ship it’s called cargo.

Why?

And, why do we say your nose runs and your feet smell?

Here’s something to lose sleep over. Athletes practice for years to perfect their abilities, right? So, why does that surgeon about to slice you open call his business a practice?

For those of you in the real estate profession, why do you call those buildings apartments when they’re all stuck together.

Another question I have for them is why do they call it a building if it’s already built? And for our friends from the Islands of the Pacific, why do they call the roads in Hawaii Interstate Highways?

I also have a question for the ladies. Why do they call it a pair of panties, but there’s only one bra?

In the financial world, why is that guy you give all your money to, hoping he makes you richer, called a broker?

The funny thing is that our twisted language makes me smile and a smile is just a curve that makes everything straight.

Hope I set you straight.