Hurricane Irma sings puzzling song for all


As the Jimmy Buffett song says, I’m “Tryin’ to Reason With Hurricane Season.”

Have you ever seen a storm like the one that blew through on September 11? Not only did I find out what a hurricane can do to my town, but I learned so much.

For example, I learned that putting up hurricane shutters and boards was a great new way to injure myself without really trying. The aluminum shutters I helped my son put up came with razor-sharp edges. Is that meant to minimize the damage by slicing rain drops into tiny water droplets?

And why are the shutters themselves a jagged design? Weren’t the sharp edges scary enough? The good news is if you run out of razor blades you can always get a closer shave with your storm shutters.

At my house, we installed boards over the windows with handy little metal clips with jagged metal edges. Come on. What’s up with jagged edges in hurricane protection?

Now you’ve made your house safe to occupy, but after injuring yourself you end up spending the hurricane in the hospital. Of course if you don’t want to ride it out, you can ride on out and hit the highway to escape.

But this hurricane was like a Tom and Jerry cartoon, with us as the mouse. Every direction people went, Irma seemed to be chasing us. The track kept moving west during every update, and people who went to the west coast looked like the roadrunner when he got to the edge of the cliff.

Now where do I go? Jump in the Gulf and swim for it? Nah. It’ll probably follow us out there.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe the stress of our lives about to change. But, whatever it was, I started believing that if I just stopped watching the news the track would stop changing and I would know where to run to.

Some people ran all the way to Tennessee, and where did Irma go? Yep. All the way to Tennessee and farther. Some friends trying to sell their houses before the storm relisted as waterfront property because the flood in their street looked like a lake and neighbors were catching catfish!

I hope everyone reading this is back to normal — or close — and can look forward to the soothing words of another Buffett song about happy hour because it’s always “Five O’Clock Somewhere.” 

—Dr. Sammy