Day at the beach poses different obstacles

Funny thing is...


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You’ve heard the saying, “It’s a day at the beach” which is supposed to mean something is going to be easy, or fun or relaxing.

Well, a day at the beach is relaxing — when you’re young. But, when you become a senior all sorts of little pesky peculiarities come into play.

For example, when you’re young any spot on the beach will do. The closer to other people the better because you can show off your beach body, meet new friends and maybe even coax them to slip you a refreshment that you may have forgotten in your haste.

Ever notice the older you get the farther you want those strangers to stay away?

If only we lived in the “Star Trek” era where we can raise the shields and anyone trying to get into our zone would bounce off the invisible wall. Wouldn’t that be hilarious if the group that already had drank too much and is toting a blaring boom box coming toward you suddenly hit your shields and went flying?

How many times do you find yourself thinking, “I was here first.”

There are 12,383 miles of beach in the United States, 663 miles in Florida alone. And, they have to sit right next to me.

There are other considerations for beachgoing when you get older. For instance, when you’re young your suit has a little less material than my hankie (not complaining about that ladies) and you don’t wear sunscreen. Hey, at 21 you’re invincible. And, since for the previous eight years you’ve possessed all the knowledge the world has to offer, you know you’ll be just fine without it.

Then, that evening you take a shower and while drying those large bright red areas of your body, you feel like someone’s hitting you with the branding iron from the Ponderosa.

Uh oh.

Welcome to adult life. Next time you’ll wear SPF 15. Yeah, that’ll help. When you get to 30 years old, you kick it up to SPF 30. Then, at 40 you use SPF 40. At age 50, you use SPF 50 and an umbrella.

At my age, I use SPF 50, keep my shirt and hat on and still stay under the umbrella. So, somebody tell me why I’m leaving my air-conditioned house, with cold beer in the fridge, and a huge HD TV that has the Travel Channel showing the Top 10 Beaches in Florida where I can see everything without having to goop up my body. Oh, it’ll be fun. It’s just a Day at the Beach! 

Dr. Sammy