Hunkering down is a passing thought


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People on television keep telling us to hunker down. The news people, the weather people, governors, mayors and, even people I trust, like priests and police.

Why?

Why should I hunker down?

The reason I ask is I went to a couple of dictionaries to see what hunker means. Well, the very first definition you see says it means to squat or crouch down.

What?

I don’t ever do that unless someone is shooting at my head. So, if a hurricane is coming I should squat to weather the storm (pun intended)?

If a pandemic happens, I’m supposed to crouch down in my house for six months to a year until it passes?

So, then I looked up synonyms for hunkering and it says crump, scrunch up, crisp, bow, crease, stoop, crinkle, bend, scrunch, thud, ruckle, squat, crouch, wrinkle.

Ouch! How’s that gonna help?

In those positions, you can’t walk the dog, eat, and then there’s that little matter of the restroom. Now in the case of a hurricane, you only have to hunker down for a couple of days until it passes. Then, you can get a couple of friends to lift you up and straighten your knees.

But, in a pandemic, you can’t let anybody near you or touch you for months to a year or more. Can’t I just sit comfortably in my lounge chair sipping on an adult beverage and watch the over the top hysteria on TV? They tell us everyone is hunkering down.

I don’t believe it, and it’s not a pretty visual. Have you ever actually seen someone hunkering down? Can you imagine models walking down the runway in high fashions in a hunkering-down position?

It would totally ruin the annual swimsuit issues if that’s the position they posed in. OK, nobody is gonna do it so why do they keep telling us we all need to hunker down?

My answer to them is, “you hunker down.” I’m gonna relax in my lounge chair or backyard pool, play on my video game system or just call and Facetime friends and family until the storm passes like a bad kidney stone attack. You know, I might just hunker down for that.